Published 16 August 2012 05:02, Updated 16 August 2012 06:56
An unpleasant email can be sitting in your inbox like a landmine, just waiting for you to click on it. Then, kapow, there goes your day.
1. VENT IT, DON’T SEND IT: When you get an inflammatory message, sometimes you feel compelled to say something.
“If everything in you wants to get mad and get even, go ahead and do it. Just don’t send it,” says Brinkman and Kirschner.
2. READ IT AGAIN: If you think your email response might increase conflict, no matter how much time you have already spent writing it, read it again to make sure you have removed all the “hot button” words.
3. AND AGAIN: Read it again at another time of day. It may sound different to you. Rather than responding to what you think the sender means, ask clarifying questions.
4. GET A SECOND OPINION: There may be possible meanings you could have missed.
5. BEGIN WITH INTENTION, END WITH DIRECTION: Begin your message with a clear statement of intent, so the recipient knows what you hope to achieve before they get very far into your message. Then tell them what you want from them.
6. QUOTE EARLY, QUOTE OFTEN: Quote back their words. Then ask for clarification.
7. EMOTICONS: Those little symbols can add context to your words and help avoid giving offence.
8. USE JOKES CAREFULLY: A little kidding goes a long way, but only if the other person gets the joke. When it doubt, leave the humour out.
Source: Dealing With People You Can’t Stand, McGraw Hill, 2012.
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